Sinek says “Failed Parenting Strategies” to blame

Last week, my husband Mike wrote about the joy of watching your kids succeed, and a few days later I am humbled and asking WHY?

I listened to author and motivational speaker Simon Sinek’s talk on Millennials in the Workplace . Sinek is the author of three books, and the first one -- Start With Why? -- is based on the premise that leading and inspiring starts with knowing why your organization exists.

As the parent of four children who cross over GenY/Millennials and the newer GenZ (depending which source created the named-generation timelines), I watched Sinek’s video as both a mom and an “older” corporate employee who has worked with Millennials. In the first two minutes of the video Sinek mentioned “failed parenting” strategies as one of the reasons why Millennials are the way they are. My first reaction…is his name spelled Sinek or Cynic?

In fairness to Mr. Sinek, he said those were not his words, but characterized the phenomenon of constant encouragement, helicopter parenting, and a trophy for all; as well as the psychological effect those parenting tactics have on the kids later in life. As adults these Millennials are thrust into a world that says you can’t just get it because you want it. Other sources say this GenY/Millennial group benefitted from greater parental attention than in the past, including more involved fathers.

As I slowly exhaled to embrace the concept of “failed parenting” -- fearing I was being the cynic making it all about me -- I thought I should keep an open mind and listen to the rest of the talk. After all, we are all trying to figure this out. He explained that Millennials are dealing with their own lack of balance, and in this case it has to do with social skills the group is missing out on as a result of parenting tactics already discussed, technology, patience and environment.

Intrigued, I continued to follow the teachings of this Sinek and asked myself the Why? Why did I write ZagZig Parenting, including stories about our (mis) adventures as parents, which sometimes make me look not so good as a mom? Why did I invite my husband and kids to give commentary and share their perspective on some decisions I made? Why am I exposing some vulnerable parts of my life to the haters out there who may not agree with me?

For me, it is about paying it forward as a way to honor those women, men, moms, dads and kids who have taught me about parenting, and relationships, as well as how to embrace work outside the home and love my family at the same time. My now friend-I-want-to-meet Sinek said we are living in a Facebook and Instagram world, where everything has filters and everything looks and sounds amazing when it really isn’t. Mike and I share some of our unfiltered moments -- as parents and a couple -- with a bit of humor, so people know they are not alone in the stress of parenting, and it will be ok. Not every move I made was medal worthy for sure.

ZagZig Parenting is a reflection over two decades of working through some not so pretty moments, and learning to laugh at myself as a mom, in relationship with my husband and family unit. It is an invitation for others to do the same; this is when the real parenting dialog begins.

To my Millennial kids and friends I own my “failed parenting,” but I won’t let that stop you from succeeding and reaching those touch points that give you an opportunity to shine; even if it means sharing my less glamorous, un-amazing moments in relationships and as a parent.

To read more authentic parenting stories by Kori, pre-order ZagZig Parenting. Official release date April 25, 2017.